I was reminded the other day of that really nice solidarity that exists between single sistas.
I was about to go on date #3 with The Surfing Yogi, a quite surprising chap I met after the head fuck that was my last two dates, and was preening and fussing over my hair and make up in the work toilets.
A girl on my floor, who I know, was doing something similar.
“Heading out?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “Catching up with some friends.”
“Where are you going?”
“We’re meeting at the Apple store.”
(Random place to meet, I thought…)
“What about you?” she asked.
“I’ve actually got a date,” I replied with a wry smile and an added slash of lipstick.
“Er, me too,” came her rather sheepish reply. She added: “You know what it’s like. You don’t want to tell everyone because then you have to un-tell them when it doesn’t work out.”
There’s an American saying that really summed up how I felt when she said that: I feel you. At that moment, I really understood what she was saying; I felt the pain behind those words. This is despite the fact I am incredibly indiscreet with my dating. I don’t so much have the issue of un-telling; it’s more that I sometimes worry my long suffering girlfriends tire of my stories (I know I do from time to time!) and despair of me (I know I do from time to time!) despite knowing that they all fiercely defend to the death my right to date as many people as I need to in order to find ‘the one’.
But at that moment, I could empathise so very deeply with what my single sista was saying. There’s a sense of failure one feels when another date doesn’t work out or another fledgling relationship sours. Obviously you can’t dwell on it but you feel it all the same.
We wished each other luck and went out into the night And it seems to have been a good night all ‘round, thankfully. Surfing Yogi was a delight – again. And my single sista had a good date, too. Maybe our luck is changing.
Photo credit: nevil zaveri